Premature optimism

So obviously it is early in my cycle, I am only on CD9. But I am feeling optimistic about this cycle. I have ordered some preseed. I have got some folic acid to start taking again. I really think that Dh is really on board to give this a great try this cycle.

It is the last natural cycle that we will be attempting and I have high hopes for it. Obviously that means that I will probably be going crazy later on in the cycle, but that is far into the future at this point so I am not too worries about it now.

I also ordered some Internet cheapy hpt's. I am planning on testing early this cycle. Last month the am I or aren't I part is what drove me nuts, so this cycle I have a new plan. I will test as early as possible and as the negatives keep showing up (which I obviously hope they don't) I will become more and more prepared for AF. That way I wont be devastated when she actually does show up.

I know, believe me I know, that repeatedly seeing no second line on a hpt can be heart wrenching, and I am sure that I will change my mind after a few months of seeing them again. But for now this is my plan and it couldn't be worse then last month.

As of right now though I am excited and looking forward to the weeks to come. This is my month, I am going to have that as my mantra!

My love list

Ok sorry for the cheese factor here, but I am going to post my list of things I love, big and small to remind me (when I get crazy and stressed out during my 2ww this month) about how I have it good.

Ok here goes, in no particular order...

My DH
My dogs
My brothers and sisters
My Mum
My Dad
My Step dad
My new house
To cook
To garden
My TV shows
Video games
Stand up (funny ones anyway)
My best friends Courtney and Mary
My extended family
My Nanny (Grandmother)
Baths
Lamps
Salt and vinegar potato chips
chocolate (especially orange)
Coffee
The smell of vanilla
Warm towels
My IPhone
My fireplace
Crossword puzzles
Curry
Sunday dinners
My in-laws
Making artwork
Spring weather
Christmas
Peking duck
Playing board games
A great book
A great movie

to be continued

Migraines, tension headaches, or something else?

So I went to the doctor today and they have no idea why I am getting these "headaches". He says that my headaches don't fit the exact profile of a migraine because thay don't typically come on only one side and I get no type of aura's (flashes of light or spots that sometimes a precursor to migraine attacks). He also said that they don't sound like tension headaches because tension headaches don't usually come with nausea and light and sound sensitivity.

He did say that it could be a combination of both but he finds this unlikely since I have no personal or family history of either.

he did give me migraine and tension headache meds though and he wants me to try them for no longer then one week. Then if they don't work after the week is up he wants me to come in for an MRI to make sure I don't have any anomalies like a tumor, but not to worry. I mean come on, who's not going to worry when a doctor says to you come back in a week and we'll make sure you don't have a brain tumor? What kind of crap is that?

As for the meds I tried them tonight and they are definitely a no go. They tension headache meds did nothing while the migraine meds made me feel worse. So I don't think I'll even wait the week if this keeps up.

I just hope they find something that works. I'm sure I don't have a brain tumor, but it is still scary. Why do docs always have to make you so nervous?

Happy Easter

Happy Easter to all of my friends in the blogasphere.

So AF came and went, as I kind of knew she would. She came to visit me early this time which makes me think that my timing was very off and that we probably didn't BD until after I O'd.

This month Dh and I discussed making sure that we BD EOD from the 12 to the 18 day of my cycle. That way we cover every eventuality. Also I think I will go back to using OPK's again. And possibly even temping. I enjoy temping later on in my cycle because it gives mr something to do with myself.

Also I have decided to start using preseed and taking baby asprin every day.

On a side note, I don't know if I ever mentioned it before but I have been having terrible migraines for the last 3 months or so. They are becoming pregressively worse and more frequent. I am going to the doctor tomorrow and I am a little nervous.

ttyl

Oops

Ok, so I am terrible at taking my temp first thing in the morning. I always forget, I do other things and then remember to do it about a minute orr so after I wake up. So this cycle I thought that I had a bright idea to take my temp everday at the same time after sitting still on the couch for a while. Let me tell you, this does not work!

I let myself get all excited about my temps being so "high" this cycle. So after taking my temp the same way I have been all week I suddenly decided to take it again after I realized I had been lying still for about an hour. The temperature drop was almost a full degree, doh!

What I did realize from this cycle though is waiting to test does not work for me. I thought that waiting until I missed AF to test would help me be less obsessed, it didn't. In fact it made me obsess about every other way you could "tell". It made me check my temp in worng ways, it made me check my CP and CM every time I went to the bathroom, it made me obsess about non existant symptoms.

Next month I am just going back to testing early. At least when I do that I start to get jaded by 11DPO and I learn to accept the impending BFN much easier.

I know that this way is definitely not for everone, but it is what works for me.

Next time will be different

After talking to DH about whether or not to do an IUI next month, we made some desisions. We decided that we are going to get some bikes. LOL. Ok so here is the conection, we decided that we are out of shape. That since Dh has never been a, shall we say, minute man. That sex is a bit of a work out that neither one of us is very well equiped for.

I have got to tell you, after about 20 minutes of bumping and grinding I am ready to call it quits.

So we decided to get bikes and we will hopefully excersize a lot more. Dh is much more into this idea then I am, but we shall see.

That being said, we also decided that next month will be our last natural try. If we don't get pregnant next month after doing everything we can by ourselves, we will get medical help.

I didn't really want things to work out like this but I am tired. Tired of not being pregnant. At this point I will take all the help I can get.

Doesn't count

I am so upset with my DH right now. I just feel like he is being totally insensitive. I have been kind of emotional today (I suppose that means AF is right around the corner) and he is being such a jerk. I told him that I have watched 23 people get pregnant while we have been "trying" and he said that "it doesn't really count". I was flabergasted, I mean why would it not count? He said that because we didn't have any sperm that none of this last year counted because we have been trying with no chance of success. That this is the first month that really counts at all. He thinks that I am just being "negative".

I feel like putting it that way just discounts all of the pain I have been through so far. Like I haven't really gone through anything at all because it didn't even count.

I am just so upset right now. Am I overreacting here?