Sunday, March 28, 2010

9DPO, arggg

This is why I hate ttc...the waiting. My type A personality does not do well with the unknown. I wish I could say that I have been calm and collected. I wish I was all of those things and more. I am a veteran of ttc, I should know better then this. I should know how to relax by now.

Ok so maybe that isn't something that comes in time. Maybe it's something you either have or you don't have. I should really get rid of my account on ff. Ff is what kills me, I have to check it twice a day. Why I don't know, it's not like the information on it changes.

Ok I need to try to keep my mind on other things. I need to face the fact that we more then likely were too late this cycle. The statistics are against me. Maybe if I can convince myself that there is absolutly no chance of me being pg I could relax.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Sarah.

    I am totally with you on the NEED to know. TTC drove me absolutely nuts to the point where I questioned my sanity. FF was def the worst of it. I stopped doing FF and went back to pen and paper charting. I would study and study AND STUDY my paper charts. Oh.. the reason that I quit FF?? So that I could look at my paper charts constantly... while soaking in the bathtub, before bed, in the bathroom (yes in the bathroom... embarrassingly enough).

    You are totally normal. Other people do not understand what we go through... and they probably never will. You need to do what you need to do to make yourself feel like you did EVERYTHING you could to make this happen. If that means checking FF twice a day... that's what it means.

    The best coping for me was the solace I found was reading your posts. So, thank you again. It's the best medicine to know that you are not alone.

    Oh, and not to drive you even more nuts, but I thought I messed up timing last cycle too... but obviously, I didn't.

    Prayers and hugs,