Sorry i haven't been posting much at all recently. I went about a week without the Internet because of the move, but apart from that I have been so busy with the new house.
Now that's out of the way, onto what has been going on with me.
If you can remember way back to my previous blog, we were debating on whether or not to "try" this cycle. Well, we decided to go for it, but it didn't exactly go as planned. First of all I had been planning on doing the EOD method of trying since DH's count is still kind of low. Well that method back fired big time. We tried to stick to the schedule but the first day we were supposed to try, we couldn't because DH had to work all day and I had to work all night and we actually didn't even see each other at all that whole day. So that was a bust.
On the second scheduled day we tried...and tried...and tried. Dh was just not going to "finish". I was getting sore and frustrated so eventually we just stopped. I have got to tell you guys I was so upset, and I did not hide this from DH. This led to DH being so upset with me that we didn't try the next day either, which admittedly was probably best because I was actually in pain from trying for so long the last time.
So finally it is the day of O and we tried successfully. I am pretty sure that it was too late though, all EWCM was gone by that point.
So our chances are slim this month. I have got so say though, what I was scared of has happened anyway. I am back on ff everyday, I am already counting the days, I am 5DPO btw. I am frustrating myself. I am back to being upset and negative about ttc. I wanted this time to be different. I wanted to be cool, calm, and collected like I have been these previous months. I swear that ttc is just not good for me. It makes me crazy, obsessive, and upset.
I need to get a grip.
Sorry that I have to come back after so long of not posting with such a negative post but this is how I am feeling right now, and unfortunatly this is typically where I vent.
Hello, It's Me
2 years ago