Impatient

I am getting really impatient with all of this waiting. I read the posts from other girls and at least they are doing something, whether it is working out for them or not, at least they are doing something. I am ready to try some treatments, to feel like I am making some progress. Bring on the IUI's or IVF's, whatever I need to do I want to do it already!

I got the results of my progesterone test back today, they were and 11.3, whatever that means. The doc told me that it meant that I O'd so I guess that's good. I tried to call them back to see whether or not I had the test at 7DPO rather then 4DPO would make any kind of difference, she said no, but honestly was not that convincing. I kind of have the feeling that she was more concerned with getting me off the phone as quickly as possible. This is something that I have heard over and over again from women, why do these nurse's or receptionists always seem so unfriendly? Why do they always make us feel like our questions are stupid and irrational? Why do I always get a paranoid feeling that when they hang the phone up that they will be saying to the other people in the office "geez, another moron with anoying questions". It's not like I call all the time. The results were left on my voicemail so I just wanted to ask a person rather then relying on what I read online, oh well.

SO I tried to schedule my HSG during the same phone call, to which I got another condescending reply about whether I got permission from my doc. When I replied "yes" she then had to double check and call me back, which didn't happen.

On another note my DH said something interesting the other day. I was saying that one of the girls that had been ttcing the same time as me was giving birth a few days ago and he mentioned that when I say things like that (I imagine that it was more the longing tone to my voice rather then the actual words) he feels like it is an attack on him. I really was astounded. I had absolutely no idea that he felt that way, honestly. He always seems so stoic when we talk about IF that I guess that I often forget about how this is effecting him.

On a final note for this entry, I am 11DPO right now and even though I knew that our chances were extremely low for this cycle I was retaining some hope. Come on, no matter how much we say that we "know" that we aren't pregnant we are always secretly hoping, aren't we? But I really think that my chances are gone this cycle. I'm not sure if it is just me but right before AF comes to visit the walls of my vagina seem swollen. Sorry if that is TMI for you, but since I check my CP I notice it. So today that was the case, as it always is on CD10, and it's a sure fire way to tell AF is coming soon. So I wish she would just get here already so that I can move on to next cycle with hopefully more swimmers to work with.