I have to stop myself from getting excited. I am counting the days already. I need to try to remember that 1 million sperm isn't nearly enough to get me pregnant naturally. Even if that number quadruples in the next few weeks it still isn't nearly enough. I need to remind myself that it will still take several months for me to be in a position where we have any options. And even when we do have options it will still most likely take months to get pregnant. Just because you have the ability you still only have a 25% chance of concieving each month.
I am actually concidering not trying this month at all. The chances are so low that I don't really want to get my hopes up. Does that sound crazy? Last month when I didn't know where we stood I wanted to try and this month when we show progress I want to stop? Maybe I'm loosing it, lol.
I just want to keep this zen like attitude that not ttc has given me. I hated the way I felt and obsessed when we were "trying". I don't ever want to go back there again.
Hello, It's Me
9 years ago
I totally understand. We took a semi-break this cycle because I wasn't medicated. We weren't sure if/when I would ovulate, so we just spent our days enjoying eachother and if it happens it happens. It has been so relaxing not to worry about OPKs or stress over every little (fake) symptom. It is a nice/needed reminder of what life used to be like :)
ReplyDelete